


The Drabble Club II: The Lyrics Edition

by Sokorra



Series: The Lyrics Prompt Series [4]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Crossing Jordan, Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones (TV), Life Unexpected, The Hunger Games (Movies), Torchwood
Genre: F/M, Pick a Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6187696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokorra/pseuds/Sokorra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of 100-500 word drabbles based on prompts using lyrics from various songs.  This collection will be updated in monthly installments as I finish a month's set of prompts.  Fandoms, characters, and pairings will be added as they appear.</p><p>Also includes "Pick a Fandom" selections, which are stories that met up with more than one fandom and in the end I couldn't decide which it fit better.  Please feel free to comment with what fandom you see, as I am always curious what options people come up with.</p><p>Chapter One includes Hunger Games, and 2 Pick a Fandom</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. February 2016 Prompts

I can't seem to find the words  
To remedy how bad this hurts  
When you're staring down a loaded gun  
Can anyone fall back on love  
\-- **_”Speak Soft” by As It Is_ **

(2/9)

There were so many conflicting emotions going through his head as he leaned against the wall to rest.  There was the overall feeling of anxiety that came from being in the middle of what was a war zone no matter what pretty words people used to cover that up.  There was the overwhelming and shiny memories that told him he should want to destroy all those around him.  They were dangerous.

Then there was the ever settling reality that he was the one who was dangerous.  He was the one who had to have chains to keep him from killing a woman he once professed to love.  He looked over at her, meeting her eyes briefly as she quickly looked away.  The shiney memories conflicted with the ones that were foggy.  Ones that told him that he did still love her.

That she was what got him through this war in the first place.  That she was half the reason he was still alive.  That she meant more to him then he would probably ever fully remember.

It was an awkward feeling, feeling the love seep in again.  He couldn’t call it falling in love again, because that would imply that he ever stopped.  But he had been paused.  Then fast forward till he wasn’t sure which was real and which wasn’t.

In the end, He might as well choose the one he realised made him happiest.

 

* * *

 

 

I've got a tight grip on reality but I can't  
Let go of what's in front of me here  
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up  
Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream  
\-- **_”The Only Exception” by Paramore_ **

(2/10)

 

He awoke slowly, the dream still holding him in its clutches as he stretched his hand over the sheets, hoping to find her still there.  The coldness of the spot beside him woke him from the last dredges as the realization that she wasn’t there settled in.

He stared at the empty spot for a minute or two, trying to bring back the image in his mind of how she had looked in the dream, laying there, smiling up at him.  But the imagine in his mind was too fleeting to hold onto so he simply got up and got ready for the day.

He peered into his daughter’s room, checking to see if she was awake yet.  The little girl was still asleep, clutching the teddy bear her mother had bought her shortly before she died.  People kept telling him how much his daughter looked like him, but at the moment he could only see her mother in her face.

He closed the door softly and made his way into the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen counter with a sigh.  It had been two months now since she had died.  Two months since a drunk driver had taken her away from him, from her daughter, and it felt like it was yesterday he had heard the news.

He could only dream about her now. She wouldn’t walk through those doors.  He wouldn’t come home to find her and their daughter singing bad 80s karaoke in the living room.  Her beauty products wouldn’t block his toothpaste any longer.

If only this was the dream and he could wake up to find her still there.  He wasn’t sure he could do this on his own.

 

* * *

 

 

There was a time you’d scream my name, it used to be my getaway  
Now all we do is just complain, maybe I’m the one to blame  
But the damage is done and it’s obvious, we can never go back to the way it easy  
We’re drifting apart and it’s killing us, it’s killing us  
\-- **_”Farewell” by Simple Plan ft Jordan Pundik_ **

(2/16)

The apartment was silent when she got in.  She knew before she put her keys in the dish that he was gone.  Things just weren’t working out anymore.  All they did was fight.  In the end he had been the one to finally do the right thing and leave.

She moved into the living room and tried to ignore the giant spaces in her DVD collection.  Ignore the pictures no longer on the wall.  Knick Knacks were missing and while she couldn’t remember off the top of her head what they were, their absence invaded her senses more than their presence ever did.

She knew it was the right thing.  They would have chewed each other up till they bleed if things got much further.  But that didn’t mean the reality didn’t break her heart.  She loved him still. She almost wished she could run after him, beg him to come back, but she knew better.  

They both needed to heal from the wounds they inflicted on each other since their son died.

She didn’t want to go back to the bedroom and see half the closet empty.  See the bed that used to be theirs but would be all hers tonight.

She looked down at the coffee table as she sat down on the couch.  He had left his ring on top of a piece of paper.  She picked it up, her one fist holding the ring tightly as she read.  Only afterwards did she let herself cry.

_Remember I’ll always love you._


	2. March '16 Prompts - Downton Abbey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Matthew makes a move  
> 2\. Robert has to think about the future

Bring on the wonder, bring on the song   
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long   
Bring on the wonder, I got it all wrong   
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long   
\-- **_”Bring On The Wonder” by Sarah MacLachlan_ **

(3/4)

He watched her from across the room, mentally arguing with himself.  Part of him wanted to head his mother’s words, Lavinia’s last wishes and just go and ask for what he wanted for so long, but another part of him was still sick with guilt.   How could he honor Lavinia when he was sure that his slip into infidelity had been one of the causes of her death.  On the other hand, if he didn’t take the chance to be happy, to be with the woman he’s loved for close to a decade, that would dishonor her last wishes.

For so long he had pushed his feelings for Mary aside.  At first it was because he didn’t think she felt the same, but then for a brief, oh so brief, time he had known that she did.  And then, after that party, he pushed it deep inside again because it hurt too much to touch it.  It hurt too much to think about the fact that he was not enough.

Then he had met Lavinia, who had helped heal his broken heart, but he had slowly come to realise he had never truly given Mary up.  She still sat in that box inside him he only opened on occasion, ready to burst free with the slightest jolt.

Being injured in the war had been that jolt.  Waking up to Mary taking care of him, making sure he never gave up and listening to him mourn the lost of the life he had been planning.  He had started to fall in love with her again, if one could fall again while still being in love from the last time.  Only Lavinia came back and it was much harder to deny his feelings for Mary.

Right now, Lavinia was gone.  So was Carlisle, for which everyone was glad.  But it did bring up the idea that there was nothing holding them back now.  She had no longer had a fiancee, he was running out of reasons for them not to be together.

Mary Crawley was the closest thing to a soulmate for him that he could believe in.  She was vested deep inside him now, and he didn’t think anything would free him from loving her when a broken proposal, death, a war, and two broken engagements couldn’t.  So he straightened his coat and walked determined across the floor to stand beside her chair,  noting Violet’s amused smirk.

“May I have this dance, Lady Mary?” One step at a time.

 

* * *

 

So lately, been wondering   
Who will be there to take my place   
When I’m gone, you’ll need love   
To light the shadows on your face   
\-- **_”Wherever You Will Go” by The Calling_ **

(3/6)

Robert had been forced to think about his death far more then he felt was necessarily in the last year.  Between the death of his cousin,  to the recent death of Kemal Pamuk,  it seemed like death was all around him.  He didn’t feel like he would join these men, but it reminded him no one could really know when their time would come.  And so much depended on him preparing for when his time would come.

He had no sons, so there was no boy to train up to take care of Downton.  Patrick had come close, he supposed, knowing as he grew up he would one day be Earl.  He loved his daughters, but tradition and law demanded it be a male heir, so his main worry for them was finding them husbands that would care and love his children after his death.  His hands were tied in trying to take care of them.  He wanted good husbands for them, men who would treat them right and love them the way his beautiful girls deserved to be loved.

His wife would have enough to care for her for rest of her life.  He had managed that.  ANd he knew without a doubt that should something happen to him tomorrow, Matthew  would try his best to care for her.  It was odd, almost, that after a year finding out he had this distant cousin he now viewed the young man as a son he never had.   He could hope that one day Mary would find it plausible to make him an actual son through marriage.  But he only wanted that if Mary found herself in love with Matthew, not out of obligation.

What bothered Robert most was the sudden realisation that he could die tomorrow and Cora could live decades longer.  She could find a second love, he hoped and hated that she could.  Hoped because he would never want his Cora to be unhappy or lonely.  Hated it because the thought of another man getting to know how to decipher her smiles, getting to hear her laugh,  her sarcastic commentary on the news.

He could only hope this phantom man was deserving.   He knew he certainly hadn’t always been, if he was at all.  Cora deserved it all.

  
  



	3. March '16 Prompts - Pick A Fandom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. A broken relationship  
> 2\. An explosion

I know, I know who you really are   
You know, you know how to break my heart   
So I need you to be   
My ancient history   
\-- **_”Ancient History” by Set It Off_ **

(3/14)

 

She tossed her stuff into the duffle, not bothering to be quiet.  He wouldn’t be home for hours, and it was best that he wasn’t.  She ignored the tears the fell down her face.  She had to leave, it was the only way either one of them would be happy. They had hit too many hits lately, made too many cutting remarks.  It had far surpassed having a fight when all you do is fight.

He knew she was not going to be there when he came back.  She knew it was probably more like he purposely made sure to be gone to make it easier for her.  She had been the one to decide to end things, but in the end she was sure that he was equally wanting the heartbreak to end.

She picked up a T-shirt and stared at it for a moment before tossing it on the bed.  It was one of his old college T-shirts, one she had stolen years ago to wear to bed, especially when he wasn't home.

He was never home.  And when he was they almost always fought anymore.

She sighed as she zipped her bag up and looked around the apartment that had been her home for so long.  Everything else could be mailed to her, or she didn’t want to begin with.  She had what she considered purely hers.

She left the key in his jacket pocket at the door, along with her ring.

 

* * *

 

 

In broken bones I feel at home  
I tend to get attached so quick to all I’ve ever known  
But I don’t seem to know a single fucking thing  
That can save me, I’m my own worst enemy  
Is there any hope for me  
\-- ** _”Can’t Save Myself”_** **_by As It Is_**

(3/28)

He couldn’t move.  That was the first thought that came to him after he started to regain consciousness.  Something heavy was pinning him to the ground.  He couldn’t see, the light was poor he hoped.  He couldn’t feel his legs, barely felt his arms.  He was still breathing, which he counted as a blessing since he couldn’t really determine his surroundings.

He tried again to sit up, to slide out from underneath whatever was pinning him down to no effect.  He coughed as dust fell around him.  It mingled with blood on his face, becoming something like mud in consistency.  Memories started to filter in.  He had been at the office, getting some records.  There had been a loud noise, screaming as people rushed to try and get under something that could protect them as the walls started to shake and fall apart.  He hadn’t made it under the desk.

What was holding him down was probably some part of the wall.  He definitely was bleeding, probably from whatever had knocked him out.  He was hoping it was just a concussion, but without the ability to move his hands much, he couldn’t check.  He struggled with the heavy object again, stopping only when he tired with only a smidgen of movement.

The light started to filter back in as his eyes adjusted.  At least he could say his eyesight wasn’t gone.  He couldn’t see anyone, just fallen beams, the occasional desk leg, chair arm.  Everything was in shambles.  

He could hear voices in the distance, and wanted to call out but found himself too weak from his attempts to move to really make his voice heard.

He could only pray that they could hear what he got out.


	4. April 2016 - Pick A Fandom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Pep Talk  
> 2\. Giving up

_ At night we’re waking up the neighbours _

_ While we sing away the blues _

_ Making sure that we’re remembered _

_ Cause we all matter too _

_ If the truth has been forbidden _

_ Then we’re breaking all the rules _

**"Read All About It" by Emeli Sande**

(4/01)

  
  
  


“Do you ever feel like none of this matters.  Like what you do doesn’t matter.”  He looked at her over the top of his mug for a moment before answering.

“I think in situations like this it's easy to get disillusioned, to feel like you are fighting the battle and making no ground.  But if you are asking me if what  _ you  _ do doesn’t matter, I would have to disagree.”

“I just feel like everytime I patch something up, or find a way out of a problem, it causes yet another problem.  Like I keep taking the almost right exit and just keep going around in circles.”

He knew she wouldn’t be sharing these thoughts with him if they hadn’t been alone. The fact that she let him see beyond the confident mask she put on in front of their colleagues was a honor he was quite aware of.  

“Your work is not meaningless,” he reassured her, believing it completely.  “It might not seem like we are winning in the grand scheme of things, but you are giving us a fighting chance, and I have never doubted for a second that you’ll contribute to whatever is the final victory.”

  
She smiled at him, but it didn’t reach her eyes.  He moved his arm around her, and pulled her close, kissing her on her head.  “Trust me,” he said softly, knowing she could hear him.  “Things will turn around.”

 

* * *

 

_ You know I love you, I really do _

_ But I can’t fight anymore for you _

_ And I don’t know maybe we’ll be together again _

_ Sometime, in another life _

**“In Another Life” by the Veronicas**

(4/13)

As she watched him walk out the door, it took all she had not to crumble.  Foolish one that she was, she had always thought that love would solve the problems.  That when it came to a relationship all you needed was love and it would all be alright.

Clearly he hadn’t agreed as he had stopped fighting.  There was so much broken between them, trust a major part.  They still loved each other, he had agreed with that, but there was too much there for him to see them working out.  A relationship needed more than love.  And she had screwed it all up.

Once the door was closed she sat quietly on the couch, pulling her feet up under her and curling up against a throw pillow.  As she let herself mourn the relationship she allowed herself to acknowledge that he was right.  Right now there was nothing to fight for.  Maybe one day in the future they would be in the place they could fight again, but for now, there was nothing.

It didn’t make her feel any better.

 


	5. May Drabbles - Torchwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Owen & Tosh Drabbles

_ Slower, slower we don’t have time for that _

_ All I wanted to find that washer way to get out of our little heads _

_ Have heart my dear, we’re bound to be afraid _

_ Even if it’s just for a few days, making up for all this mess _

**“Run” by Snow Patrol**

(5/14)

 

_ You’re breaking my heart.  _

Four words, five if you count the contraction as two words, and that was all it took.  Five words the just stop everything. He had always known she cared for him, but she had never asked anything from him, not till then.  She hadn’t asked that he return the feelings.  When he pushed her away she went away, always close enough if he needed her but respected his space.

Till now, and he could hear the tears in her voice.  She was crying, and it was over him. For a moment all he could do was concentrate on her voice, stepping near the wall to try and reassure her,  trying to make her life.  And maybe expressing how much he cared for her too.  He had never been able to say it, never felt like it was the right time or when he did have the opportunity that the risk was worth the potential pain.

Except he hadn’t counted on how much it would hurt to hear her listen to him die.  To know that it was hurting her that she couldn’t save him.

He tried his best to remain calm, to go into this with the least amount of pain for Toshiko.  At least he wasn’t alone.  She was with him the entire time.

 

* * *

 

 

_ A single breath (in empty lungs) it’s all I got left (gasping for air) _

_ And a bad idea branded in my brain I can’t seem to shake _

_ Another day (in tired skin) I shed and fray (far from desire) _

_ ‘Til all I am is textbook misery and my own mistakes _

**Cant Save Myself - As It Is.**

(5/26)

In the days following his death...or whatever it was you wanted to call it, he had plenty of time to think.  To think about all that he missed, to think about all that he could have done but spent too much time putting off for another day.

Alot of that was tied up in Tosh.  Her continued support infuriated him.  He both longed for it and despised it because it was a constant reminder that he could have had something there.  He hadn’t believed her when she said she loved him. But after a few weeks of watching her try and care for him even though he was dead, even though he was cruel and wouldn’t allow her to, he realised she might not have been lying.

And wasn’t it just a shame to realise when it was too late to do anything about it that you finally found someone who loved you enough to stay.  His mother hadn’t loved him enough to keep him around, and Diane had loved the idea of being her own, being independent and unbeholden to love to stay with him.  Katie, well she didn’t really have a choice.  Now here was Tosh, the first woman since Katie to love him, to want him around, and he had gotten himself shot and killed.

There was nothing worse than hindsight and regrets.


	6. May Drabbles - Pick A Fandom

_ Hey don’t pay no mind _

_ We are the second you’re minutes behind _

_ So you say “Yeah I’m alright” _

_ You are the fortunate all the time _

**The Fortunate” by Cartel**

(5/10)

 

“You know, I’m actually am surprised it took you this long.”

“What...”

“I’ve known that this relationship was failing for a while now.  I couldn’t seem to gather the courage to end it, so I’m glad you did.  But I always figured that I was the one who figured it out last, but I think you may have held out longer then me.”

“We were happy, for awhile.”

“We were,” she agreed.  “But we were just ignoring the inevitable. You were never in love with me, not in the way one expects their partner to love them.  I don’t doubt you care for me, and don’t doubt I care for you - I always will, but yeah.  I don’t think we were meant to work out.”  She paused for a second, debating on whether or not to bridge the subject.  “Can I offer some advice, as your friend?”

“Advice on what?”

“You should tell her.”

“That's specific.”  She sighed and rolled her eyes, almost amused at his denial. 

“You should tell her that you love her.  It's been clear to me as the fact that is pouring outside that you fell head over heels for her, but you keep denying your feelings and instead went for the second best option.”  She held up a hand.  “You don’t have to try and make me feel better.  I just need to find the guy who makes me the best option.  You need to get out of your little canoe on the river of denial, make landfall and tell the woman.”  She smiled softly.  “You may find she’s not quite so much out of reach as you may think.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Every time I try and get a little closer, you shut down and the conversation's over _

_ I'm right here but you leave me in the dark, show me your private parts _

_ Give it up baby what are you afraid of, love sucks when you don't know what it's made of _

_ We get naked but I can't undress your heart, show me your private parts _

**Private Parts  by Halestorm**

(5/22)

 

“Stop shutting me out!”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.  I don’t shut you out.”

“Yes, you do. It's like you have this wall.  Sure, we can have sex, sure we can talk about the weather or the very basics like your sister being a good cook, but god forbid you ever tell me anything deeper then that.”

“I tell you lots of things.”

“I didn’t know your mother died.”

“So?”

“We’ve been dating for six months, and you didn’t think to tell me that your mother had died?  Didn’t even ask me to go with you to the funeral.  I had to learn because I ran into your sister at the grocery store, who I might add thinks I was rather insensitive asking her about her plans for mother’s day.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“That’s just it - It wouldn’t bother me.  I’m supposed to be your partner.  I’m supposed to be there to support you when you need it.  Not just be your bed warmer and the person who reminds you your train is going to be late.”  She had tears in her eyes now.  “If I’m not that person for you, you need to end things now.  Because I love you, and regardless it's going to break my heart but I’d rather have it happen now before I can’t heal from it.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Can’t fight the feeling I feel inside _

_ I try to tell you but I always hide _

_ The things you say like “I want you to stay right _

_ Here by my side” and let the words slide _

**Olive You by Dave Days (Feat. Kimmi Smiles)**

(5/25)

“Stay, please.”  She closed her eyes, keeping the tears at bay.  She knew she had to do this.  She couldn’t stay. She had tried.  Had tried staying, trying making things work, but she couldn’t do it anymore.  Him asking her to stay made her want to turn around and stop leaving, stop doing what she knew was right.  She loved him so much, but the truth was there to see.

She couldn’t stay.  Not with the memories closing in, and her grief so heavy on her shoulders.  Not even for him.  She needed to go, needed to be anywhere but here.  So despite his plea, she squared her shoulders, opened her eyes and walked out the door.

He would understand in time.  They weren’t good for each other, not now.  Now when all the pieces were broken and they ended up stabbing each other as often as fitting together.  He followed her to the door, but his silence was a relief.  She didn’t turn to look at him, because she knew what she would see.

She was breaking his heart.  Again.  But he would see in the end that it was better she left now then in the future when they had broken each other further.  When what was left of their love settled into hate.

He would understand.


	7. June 2016 Prompts - Hunger Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Effie and Haymitch. Movie verse  
> 2\. Peeta and Katniss. Her voice is a blessing and a curse.

_ I don’t say what I mean, I can’t give you everything _ _   
_ _ I’m as stubborn as cynical _ _   
_ _ It take more than love to keep you smiling _ _   
_ _ More than hope to keep you trying _ _   
_ _ It’s hard to be inseparable _ _   
_ __ When we have separate principles   
**\--”Concrete” by As It Is**

 

(6/3)

 

After so many years, Effie had admitted only to herself that she was in love with Haymitch.  Nothing would come of it, of course.  She knew this.  Haymitch wasn’t interested.  Not in her, and not in relationships in general unless it was one drinkable.  But it didn’t stop her from hurting when he did, from helping him when she knew it could cost her life. 

Not that she didn’t agree with his cause, she did.  But a small element of her willingness to help move it along was due to her feelings for him.  And she also knew that he cared enough about her to ask her to reconsider.  It wasn’t love, but it was enough then.

Except now the war for Panem was over, and she found herself at a loss.  She couldn’t find enjoyment in her old haunts, or hobbies.  She missed Katniss and Peeta, somehow they had become the children she knew she’d never have.  And she missed Haymitch, despite the fact she knew he couldn’t love her back in the way she loved him.  They were divided by so many things.  While she could sympathize, she couldn’t truly know what it was like to be a Victor, to spend 20 years watching your friends and family die, and then watching others children die as well and be forced to train them to die.She only knew a part of it, what she experienced as a escort. 

But she still found herself standing on his doorstep, stepping over the guard duck  (or was it a goose?) and knocking on his door.

Maybe it was time one of them crossed the divide and tried to make it work.

 

* * *

 

 

__ But like the sun breaks through the clouds   
Your tired voice broke through the sound   
And rearranged my little head this evening   
The greys they turn to baby blue   
Now babe my only plan is you   
And all the precious time that I’ll be stealing   
**\--”Tonight” by With Confidence**

_ (6/12) _

Her voice was what brought things back to him.  It was a blessing and a curse, really, that it was all wrapped up in her.  He hated that his flashbacks and relapses were about her, but grateful that hearing her tell him what was real was what kept him from losing himself.

They both showed scars, both had a form of PTSD.  At least that is what Dr. Aurelius told him.  His is more rooted in his memories, and the abuse of his nervous system by the Capital's doctors.  He’d never fully recover from the venom.  It would always be improvement followed by relapses and climbing back up.

But she never left.  Never abandoned him when it became clear it was a particularly bad flashback, one that could be dangerous to her.   She called him back to reality.  Listing his favorite color, his hobbies.  That she was his wife, and he her husband.  That they were in this together and she loved him.

Real or Not real.  A game born out of desperation to know what was really there and what was simply his mind playing Snow’s old tricks on him.

But she always brought him back. And he could only hope that he helped her with her healing wounds as much as she helped him.


	8. June 2016 Prompts - Game of Thrones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne at the end of the war (Jaime/Brienne) (non-season 6 complient)

_ Here’s to us, here’s to love   
All the times that we fucked up   
Here’s to you fill the glass   
‘Cause the last few nights have kicked my ass   
If they give you hell, tell ‘em go fuck themselves   
Here’s to us _   
\-- **_”Here’s To Us” by Halestorm_ **

 

It was quiet as they all ate.  She supposed it was because they hadn’t really expected to be here.  The war was over.  The Armies were still encamped, but they would disperse in the next coming days.  Finding their homes, and start rebuilding as the world thawed into a new Spring.  As for herself, she was at a loss, unsure of where to go.  She honestly hadn’t thought past fighting. She had figured she would die in battle and this decision would never have to be made.

Except now here she was, gathered with her friends, a mix of wildlings, highborn ladies, roughened hedge knights, squires and priests.  It was a group that seemed like it shouldn’t exist.  Sansa Stark should not be dining across from Jamie Lannister, who had paralysed her brother.  Jamie sat next to Davos Seaworth, who had once tried to take the crown his son now wore.  There was also Jon Snow, between his cousin and his aunt Daenerys, who sat next to the Boy King himself, Tommon.  But war made strange bedfellows as the saying went.

She supposed she could go with Sansa, as she was Sansa’s sworn knight.  Sansa had released her from any need to stay, but the possibly was still there.  Or she could return home to Tarth, try to reclaim her land from those who had taken it over in her absence after the death of her father.

Another option, one she wasn’t sure actually existed, was to find a home with Jaime.  They had grown quite close over the years, especially the last one while fighting the White Walkers. Many joked they were married and didn’t know it.  Addam Marbrand actually called her Lady Lannister, which had made her uncomfortable.  It seemed improper, and also there was a part of her who liked that idea.

She remained silent during the meal, listening to the others talk about their plans and being cheerful that the fighting was over, at least stage of it.


	9. June 2016 Drabbles - Pick a Fandom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Nighttime thoughts.  
> 2\. A conversation

Thoughts are racing    
Am I alone in wondering what the night holds   
Will we finally give into urges kept in   
Is it really that scary to fall in love?   
If you ask me I can’t get enough   
The way my heart stops dead, as we crawl into bed   
**\-- “Slow Me Down” by 3PM**

_ (6/17) _

The quiet of the night filled the room comfortably as they lay there, snuggled against each other on the bed.  It felt so natural to be there, he was almost surprised by it.  This wasn’t their first time together, but it was probably the first time since they had decided they wanted to deal with this seriously.  Both of them working on keeping this going.  Trying to be better to each other.

He played with her hair, idly thinking that he liked how she had grown it out.  The last time they had been together, her hair had been shorter.  Both looks went well with her but he liked the longer look.  She settled closer to him at the touch, dosing lightly.  He had to smile.  He knew that she didn’t sleep well, so it was nice to know that with him around she slept a little easier.  It might not last, but tonight it seemed his presence had helped.

He couldn’t help but wonder about their future.  Would they last this time?  He hoped so, he wasn’t sure he would be able to handle it falling apart again.  He had to trust that they would, otherwise this would fail from the start.  It seemed like he couldn’t remember a time he didnt love her, but they had long found out the truism that love wasn’t all you needed to make a relationship work.

“Stop thinking so loudly,”  she murmured from beside him, her eyes still closed.  “Sleep.”  Her arms wrapped around him and shifted him even closer.  “Think tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

 

_ Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts   
And we've got to find other ways, to make it alone and keep a straight face   
And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance   
Up until I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness   
Because none of it was ever worth the risk _   
\-- **_”The Only Exception” by Paramore_ **

“It's a self fulfilling prophecy.”

“What do you mean?”

“The whole “It's not worth the risk?” bit.” 

“Okay...”

“If you don’t risk your heart, you aren’t going to see all the good that can come from it.  You’ll only see the shallow bits.”

“I never expected you to be a romantic.”

“I’m not a romantic.  I’m a realist.  And it's like surfing.  You’ll never know the full joy you can get from surfing if you just float on your board all day.  You have to go for those waves.”

“Surfing allegories?  

“I can make surfing allegories.”

“You don’t even swim.”


	10. July 2016 Drabbles - Pick A Fandom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These are a set of drabbles that either fit too many fandoms/pairings or I couldn't figure out one. I'm always happy to hear what you thought of when you read the drabble.

_My concrete’s set, it’s permanent_

_I’m stuck this way, no I can never change_

_No I can’t stop if all I’ve got_

_Is an empty heart full of broken parts_

**\--”Concrete” by As It Is**

(7/05)

She wasn’t sure how to feel.  She wasn’t supposed to feel anything, she supposed, but she knew better then deny that she felt something.  She felt numb, that was one thing she felt.  She had expected that he’d make it, that someone he’d pull one more last minute miracle and make it.

Instead he lay on the table, his body covered in a sheet.  Nothing could change that.  Nothing would make this a dream, a nasty dream where everything was going wrong.  No, this was reality.  

She wished she could cry, could express some of what was building up inside her but she couldn’t.  It wasn’t in her to do so.  At least not yet. He would forgive her that, he knew that about her.

She walked towards him, placing a hand on the sheet covered arm of the man she loved, even though she wouldn’t admit it outloud.  There was no more residual heat, the sheet was cool to the touch.  Nothing to remind her of the man who had changed her irrevocably.  

She couldn’t move, though inwardly she wanted to go kick something, break something.  Anything to break down the tide inside.

 

* * *

 

 

_ I watch you spin around in your highest heels _

_ You are the best one of the best ones _

_ We all look like we feel _

_ You have stolen my heart _

**\--”Stolen” by Dashboard Confessional**

(7/14)

They were dancing when he realised he loved her.  It wasn’t any epic moment or realization or anything like that.  There would be no romance novels written or songs sung.  Just an ordinary moment when they were at her best friend’s wedding.  She had dressed up for the occasion, in her own way. These deadly high heels and a black dress.  She looked amazing, but that hadn’t been what had clued him in.  She could have been wearing a face mask and eating onion rings and it wouldn’t have mattered.

No, there was just this moment where they were both laughing at how badly they danced, and he had pulled her back from an awkward spin, and her laughter filled eyes had landed in line with his and he just knew.

He loved her.  And it just felt like something that he had already known. Like when you are trying to figure out a song title and it doesn’t come to you and then someone says it and your brain goes  _ ah, yes. _ .  That was what it was like to realise he was in love with her.

He didn’t say anything, but she must have noticed something, because she gave him a look before he smiled and spun her out again, nearly knocking into their friends who were doing some weird robot dance.   At least none of them looked too ridiculous.  Who would have thought they all had inability to dance in common.

  
Still, it was a moment to note, even if it was only important to him.

 

* * *

 

_ I’ll sing it one last time for you then we really have to go _

_ You’ve been the only thing that’s right in all I’ve done _

_ And I can barely but every single time I do _

_ I know we’ll make it anywhere away from here _

**\--”Run” by Snow Patrol**

(7/24)

She sang softly to her daughter, wrapping her closer against the chill of the air around them.  The calm of the fall day seemed ironic against the turmoil that was their lives. She was taking one last look at home before going on the run, before hiding from that which would hurt her, hurt her daughter.

The baby girl was fussy, no doubt unpleased to be introduced to yet another new environment.  Different lighting, different temperatures.  However the melody seemed to calm her enough to sleep.

She decided she had lingered enough and packed the little girl back into her carrier, and moved towards the car that was parked a few feet away.  She only had a few hours to make a head start. It was hard to believe that just yesterday she had been a government agent, one sworn to protect the innocent and enforce laws.  Yet now she was on the run from people she had trusted.  Her reputation was in shatters, she had no idea where her husband was, only that he had been forced to leave a few hours ago, and would find them wherever they went.  For now they went their separate ways.

As she locked the carrier in the car seat slot, she peered down at her daughter one more time, convinced they could make it.  Thinking otherwise would do no good.  Besides, she wanted something better for the little girl then a life on the run.  And when she was determined enough she got what she wanted.

She would this time too.

 

* * *

 

 

My imperfections, you let them mean nothing

I’d have done the same with yours if you had any

Just because I’m a mess doesn’t mean this has to end

I deem it to certainty you’ll never find such love again

\--”Your Life Over Mine” by Bry

(7/25)

He sighed as she closed the door behind her.  Not with a slam, symptom of anger, but with a soft click, the sign of resignation.  He didn’t know what to do to make this mess better.

He loved her, that wasn’t a problem.  But he, quite frankly, was a mess. His whole life seemed like a cave in at the moment.  She deserved better.  Someone who wasn’t half trying to figure out himself, someone who could fully be there for her, be the person who supported her.

Which is why he didn’t fight harder when she left.  He didn’t know if she would return, he hoped she would but he wouldn’t have blamed her if she decided not to.  If he woke up tomorrow morning and found her best friend at the door with boxes and a look of scorn.

He flopped down on the couch, looking over at the coffee table.  She had found it at a flea market, an old wood and rope stand with a glass top that had pictures.  Pictures of their life together.  

He wished he could be that person again, that man she fell in love with.  The man who could give her the life in the pictures.  But he wasn’t sure he was ever going to be that again.

 

* * *

 

_ Cause you make me yearn to be refused _

_ You intimate hope for a life you won’t choose _

_ Keep me around just to keep you amused _

_ Won’t you please cut me loose _

**\--”Let Me Go” by Startisan’**

(7/30)

It wasn’t easy, being in love with someone who wasn’t quite yours to have.  Sure, on paper they were together and they loved each other, but as time went on she became more and more convinced that another person truly held his heart and he hadn’t quite gotten over her.  She didn’t expect him to stop loving his ex - unfortunately love didn’t work that way - but she would like to feel like she was with a main who primarily wanted her, not someone else.

Still, she loved him, and she let it slide for awhile.  Except, in the end she couldn’t take it any longer, she wasn’t strong enough.  She was tired of feeling like the other woman.  Tired of feeling like she was the love interest brought in in season 3 to throw a wrench in things so the writers could keep writing the angst until season 5.  So one afternoon she packed her bags and waited patiently for him to return home from work.  It was pathetic how little she had to pack.  The home that had been theirs was barely changed when she removed herself from it.  Like a few days and the dust would cover up any evidence that she had once been there.

He had tried to argue, once he realised what was happening, but in the end he had to give in.  They both knew that it wasn’t going anywhere, not with him still deeply in love with his ex.  He could try to stop, but she knew they would be both be miserable.  

Still,once the door shut behind her, she could help but let a few tears escape.  She had loved him.  Just not enough to be the consolation prize.

 

* * *

 

 

 


	11. July 2016 Prompts - Game of Thrones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime comes to the conclusion he loves women unavailable to him.

_ Did you know how you would move me, did you know? _

_ Did you know how you would move me? Well, I don’t even think so. _

_ But the moment's magic swept us away _

_ And it’s so close, but we’re so far away. _

_ It’s so close, but we’re so far away. _

**\--”We’re So Far Away” by Mae**

(7/1)

Jaime wasn’t sure why he had to fall for the most inconvenient of woman.  First Cersei, who had twisted him up for thirty years till he wasn’t sure which one of them had pushed for it in the first place.  Watching her as she married another man, loving her solely, as faithful to her as if he had been her wedded husband yet she had taken lovers.  For strategy, perhaps, but he found it hard to swallow no matter what her motivation.

 

Now he had to deal with these feelings for Brienne.  A woman his father would have welcomed as a daughter-in-law, since she was a highborn daughter of a man with a strategic location.  However she was far too honorable to be his mistress, and he doubted he could convince her that there was nothing between him and Cersei.  Not when he was still doing his sister’s bidding.  Even if Cersei weren’t in the picture, he had long ago come to the conclusion that she deserved so much better than a dishonorable knight like himself.

  
He could have fallen for any woman, found some tavern owner’s daughter to marry (oh how Tywin would roll over in his grave with that one) or married one of Frey’s daughters (he certainly had enough).  But no, he had to fall in love twice in his life with two women who were polar opposites except in the level of dedication to their primary objective.  Neither would appreciate the comparison.  Both were women who were not available to be a choice.


	12. Hunger Games September 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. An Aftermath (Katniss/Peeta)  
> 2\. Sometimes he could Pretend (K/P)  
> 3\. She continued to Pretend (Effie)

_ I remember the nights when you’d lie with me _

_ When we’d talk and we’d touch and we’d fall asleep _

_ I’d wake up in your arms and I’d feel at ease _

_ Now it’s just me and I lie awake _

_ And I toss and I turn and I see your face _

_ When I wake from the dream it won’t go away _

_ Oh it’s gonna be a long night _

**\-- "Long Night” by With Confidence**

(9/2)

 

She missed him. It was funny that now that he was gone the answer seemed so clear.  They were both so broken, but being near him, with him, made her feel closer to being okay again.  Only she knew the opposite was true for him.

She cried often when she was alone, as the nightmares of the last two years continued to remind her while she slept.  Some were of him, of losing him, of him hating her.  She knew it was the Capital’s way of getting under her skin, but she couldn’t help but feel she deserved some of it.  After all, she hadn’t protected him enough, hadn’t been able to save him in time before they ran through his mind like a proverbial blender, mixing in false memories of her in with the real ones.

Unfortunately she couldn’t tell them that some of the horrible bits weren’t untrue.  She didn’t deserve all the love and self-sacrifice he gave her, but she wanted that love back anyway.  She wanted to turn over and find him there helping her keep the nightmares of the Arena away.  She wanted to find him sitting at the table when she got home from the hunt, adding to her father’s book, to the book they had started.

She wanted him back.  It was selfish because her presence hurt him, caused his flashbacks and regressions.  If she wanted to do right by him, she had to let him go.

She was finding that harder than she had thought.

 

* * *

 

 

_ Kiss me again underneath the moonlight _

_ You're more than a friend I knew it from the first sight _

_ Hold me feel my heartbeat _

_ Put your arms around me _

_ And kiss me again _

**\-- "Kiss Me Again” by We Are The In Crowd**

(9/5)

Sometimes when she kissed him, he could forget this was all a game to her.  Pretend she actually meant the words she said, that she actually felt for him as he felt for her.  But he knew better, and also knew there was no way to make someone love you.  Not even when society assumed that they did, his own mother was an example.

Still, it was easy to pretend for a second, and as things seemed to get worse and worse, he could fall into those moments with more ease, knowing they were the only relief he would get from the reality.

Katniss never seemed to realise what effect she had on people, even him.  How one kiss from her could settle his mind from whirling around wondering in five million directions.  How everything she did seemed to catalyze those around her.

He told her that of course, but she didn’t believe it.  Not even when the proof was in their kiss.

 

* * *

 

 

 

_ I need a little more luck than a little bit _

_ 'Cause every time I get stuck the words won't fit _

_ And every time that I try I get tongue tied _

_ I'll need a little good luck to get me by _

**\-- "Tongue Tied” by Fabre Drive**

(9/6)

Sometimes she felt exhausted keeping the facade up.  The mask that led everyone think, even those she loved, that she was the carefree woman they all thought she was.  That she wasn’t aware that everything she was doing was celebrating the mass murder of children.  That she didn’t hurt every time she sent them into the Arena only to watch them die.

What little she could do required her to remain that person when she wasn’t alone.  It was only when she was alone at night, supposed to be asleep in bed that she could really be herself.  Let herself cry over what she was being forced to do.

She wanted to tell him, tell the kids, that she wish she could do more.  Wished she didn’t have to act like she was giving them some sort of prize vacation rather than calling their names out for death.

But she couldn’t find the words to say to make them believe.  Or how to say it without giving it away to those who could harm the ones she loved.  So instead she kept pretending.

Maybe one day she could stop.


	13. Crossing Jordan September 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Crossing Jordan  
> 1\. Jordan hates secrets (Jordan/Woody; Jordan/JD)  
> 2\. Garret knew it took some time to warm up to Jordan (Garrett & Jordan)  
> 3\. Jordan moves on.

_ I've got more secrets than you'll ever know _

_ Another year and you won't let it go _

_ Too many times I told myself to hold on _

_ But it's too late for me, now I'm as good as gone _

**\-- "Secrets” by State Champs**

 

(9/21)

Jordan hated secrets.  She really did.  They had ruined so much in her family.  She wasn't talking about keeping a surprise party from someone, or keeping to oneself that a friend had a crush on another.  No, she was talking about the bigger secrets.  LIke her father keeping the truth about her mother from her.  Keeping the fact that she had a brother away from her.  

She tried to let it go, tried to move on, but as the years went on, and more secrets came out and hit her hard she started to not be able to.  Every time she saw her father she kept wondering what he was keeping from her now.   

She supposed that was one of the big reasons that she and JD would have never made it, no matter how they felt or how optimistic he was that they could have handled a marriage.  They kept secrets, big ones, from each other.  They didn't have the trust.  Part of it was a natural byproduct of their occupations, but she suspected they both needed someone who didn't have to keep those kind of secrets.

She and Woody were different.  Part of it was that they usually worked together, so the secrets were ones they kept together.  But there was also a level a trust she had never been able to have with JD.  Even when their paths went in opposite directions, and they couldn't discuss the case, they knew each other well enough that they could trust that the secret wasn't one that affected them.

But it still came back to her father.  Sitting her, rocking her own daughter, she had to wonder how he had kept so much from her. She understood wanting to protect - there was so much she wanted to save Emily from.  But she couldn't understand still the urge to hide stuff like a brother, or that her mother had been sick.  She hadn't needed protection from that.  Not knowing had put her in more danger then knowing would have.

One day she'll have to explain to her daughter everything.  She didn't plan on leaving her without the answers.  If she asked, she would answer.  She might not include all the details, there were things she wouldn't understand till she was older.  But she would know that her parents loved her.  That they loved each other, that they had been loved by others.  She would know about her namesakes.  

She didn't intend on making her father's mistakes.  At least she knew she had Garett and Woody to help her if she ever started to.

 

* * *

 

 

_ You’ve lived through so much and seen so many things _

_ Through your eyes and I wish you could just see _

_ If it were up to me I would construct a key  _

_ To your heart and finally set you free _

**\-- "Humans” by The Scene Aesthetic**

(9/26)

Jordan took some time to get used to.  But as Garett well knew, she had this unique ability to make you want to do everything for her once you were.  He loved her like a daughter, equally worrying about her as he did about Abby.  Different worries, yet worry all the same.

He wish he could fix it for her.  Find someway of removing the pain that had filled her life.  Find out who had murdered her mother so she wouldn't still be searching, still have that over her head.  He wanted to rant and scream at Max, who he considered a friend but a not a good father.  

Jordan was a great medical examiner.  She was excellent in her work, talented.  She gave her heart and soul to finding out the truth for those who came through their morgue.  But she gave less care to herself.  

He watched as she sabotaged her relationships when they got too close, too worried that they'd leave her so she left first.  Watched as she took her friendships for granted because she didn't completely trust that they wouldn't leave her as well.  She didn't seem to realise how many people loved her.  

He wished he could make her see all that.  But the most he could do was stand there and make sure she didn't go too far.  Give her limits to fight against.  Distract her from her own self.

He couldn't save her from the pain of the past, but perhaps he could help save her from new sources of it.

* * *

 

 

_ Sometimes I watched you standing at the back gates _

_ Dressed up and talking to a new face _

_ You don't know why you can't sleep at night _

_ Get off this rollercoaster ride _

**\-- "When I Found You” by Amber Pacific**

She stared at the boxes.  These boxes that had ruled her life for so long.  Every tidbit she had learned about her mother's death.  Copies of evidence reports, autopsies, interviews.  Old photos of her mom and Dad.  The Redding case that had driven her for awhile in circles.  Anything related to her brother James.  It was all in these boxes.

For most of her life, she had let these boxes rule over her decisions.  She broke the trust of friends, ran away, ruined relationships.  ALl because she was after the secrets that the boxes didn't contain.  What had happened.  Why had it happened.  

She needed to get off this rollercoaster ride, off this cycle that never did her any good but just brought her pain.  Disappointment in people she had thought would never disappoint her.  The look of betrayal in her friend's eyes as they saw her rushing away to solve the case despite everything she had built here.  The nightmares that kept her awake at night.

Yesterday, the man she had been in love with had gotten shot.  And had pushed her away, not wanting anymore pain.  It had been a wake up call.  How many times had she allowed this, and other things, get in the way of her life.  In the way of telling her friends, and chosen family how much she loved them.  He hadn't believed her.  It was more than just this case, but she knew this was a big part of it.

She had to let it go.  Let it be unsolved, the answers unknown.  For the sake of her own mental health, for the sake of her family. 

She picked up the first box and carried it out to her car.  She would store it in the attic of the old house her father no longer lived in.  She couldn't bring herself to completely get rid of it, but she could get it further away from her.  Not have it as a regular reminder.

It was time for her to redirect what her life was about.  

 


	14. Life Unexpected September 2016

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fandom: Life Unexpected  
> 1\. Baze thinks over his and Cate's relationship (Baze/Cat)  
> 2\. Cate & Baze have a moment (Baze/Cat)

_ I can hear you breathe  _

_ I’m feeling the shake and the sound of my heartbeat _

_ Can’t let go _

_ Do you know _

_ I’m feeling the pain of my first love _

_ I won’t let go, can’t let go _

**\--”Sirens” by Angels and Airwaves**

 

(9/13)

 

That first time in high school hadn’t been about love.  He never admitted this to her, but he noticed her before that night, always finding her beautiful despite the headgear.  But it was something off to the side of his mind because he had so much going on.  And a on-and-off again boyfriend.

She had been beautiful that night, when she had walked by his car, clearly pissed about something. He had found out later from Math that she had been ditched by her date that night.  It had made him consider the night a mutual way of consoling each other on a crappy formal. 

He had been over his head that year, still trying to impress his dad, trying to live up to the high standards that Jack Bazile had put out for him but never quite making it.  He hadn’t quite figured out yet that he wasn’t meant to be like Jack, hadn’t quite found the equilibrium he would eventually find after college and Lux.  But she had always stuck in his mind.  That crazy almost they had escaped from.

What he couldn’t understand was why it was so different this time. Why the older version of Cate managed to get under his skin, cause him to fall for her in a very serious way when nothing really had changed.  She still looked at him the way she had done the night she walked away from him after telling him about the baby.  She might be attracted to him, but she didn’t feel what he did, only saw him as a way out of the scary things she felt with Ryan.

He almost wished he could go back to that kid,the one who found the Valedictorian pretty but not much else.  

 

* * *

_ Tell me the chance hasn’t passed us by _

_ Cause baby the stars have never shined so bright _

_ Nothing can stop us out here _

_ Let’s just take tonight, tonight slow _

_ I just want to see where this, where this goes _

_ I need you _

**\--”Tonight I Love You” by The Latency**

  
  


(9/ 15) They sat on the porch of her home a few minutes after Lux had driven off for her senior year at high school.  It seemed like it had been just yesterday that she had rushed out of her studio to find Lux standing next to Baze, and now her baby girl was an adult.  In a few months she’d be 19.  

It also seemed like yesterday that she wouldn’t have wanted the man standing beside her to be there.  She would have laughed if anyone said that in 3 years you’ll be close friends with the jock who broke your heart in high school and fathered the daughter you gave up for adoption.

“Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we had kept her?”  She asked.  She turned to look at him, finding him watching her thoughtfully.”

“Occasionally over the years.  Wasn’t my proudest moment.  Of course I rarely thought of Lux as I thought..”  he didn’t voice the next words but she understood all the same.  “But I wondered how you were, if I should have been more supportive.”

“The answer would be yes.”  She could say that with a smile now, having long forgiven him for what happened in high school.  

“I can not argue with that.”  He sighed before moving to stand up.  He turned around and took her hand to help lift her off the steps and go back inside to finish the breakfast getting cold on the counter inside.  Baze had cooked it this morning, although he had allowed Cate to cut some fruit up.  “But I think we would have ended up hating each other if we had given into convention.”  

She couldn’t quite argue that.  She wondered sometimes if they could make it now.  They were both single right now, had been for awhile. Every Once and awhile she’d catch glances he;d send her, ones that made her wonder if they still had a chance.  If maybe their story could have a happy ending too. Not just as coparents who shared a great love for the child they made together, but as two people who loved each other as well.

She looked down as they entered the kitchen and noticed that they were still holding hands, and she moved hers to entangle her fingers with his.  It made the gesture somehow mean more.  He seemed to realise that as he paused in front of her and looked down at their hands, then at her.

“Maybe we could have found out differently,” she stated.  They had certainly found that out these past 3 years.

“Maybe,” he responded, pulling her closer as he caught her meaning and leaning down to rest his head on hers.

 


End file.
